Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Because he wanted to be a Smarty. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Yo mamma so fat, when she walked out of candy land there was nothing left! Robert Paul. Religion I feel better already. (LogOut/ Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down! "I will grant you three wishes," says the genie. One smart cookie. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!. Kuhtuhluh Report. "For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol." The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears. What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Cocoa-Nuts. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Andrew Weil, M.D. An old man and a young man work together in an office. Tap To Copy. Best chocolate jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 28 Chocolate jokes He rubs it and a genie appears. Do not Disturb! Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? They had a baby, Ruth. What do cannibals eat for dessert? 131 Star Wars Jokes That Definitely Have The Force ", responds the alien. Black jokes - Great jokes about black people, laugh hard and share If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Cremation. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Id love to be that cookie youre eating because they have the excuse to get close to your lips. I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Its my favorite feeling. 50 It's So Cold Jokes To Make You Laugh - PsyCat Games Ah! I reckon its just a Chinese whisper. Patrick Skene Catling. Save the Earth! I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. We suggest to use only working chocolate chocolate milk piadas for adults and blagues for friends. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Every jokes so funny I am enjoying your jokes and best of luck for new jokes. The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate. Whats Boris Johnsons favourite chocolate bar? Do you like it dark or milky? Little Truths Just ice cream. A pound a day often. Whos there? 30 Hilarious Cookie Jokes That Definitely Aren't Crumby! Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Because you are as sweet as chocolate. Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. Youll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. So, what about chocolate jokes? So black kids could get dirty faces too. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. It will not make you pregnant. dirty baking jokes 5. Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. A marsbar! Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. A cad-bury. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. 1. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. Sandra Bullock, Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh; Create New Motions of the Flesh. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. 7. The smile looks really good on you. Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Imogen who? That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Put it in the microwave. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! I appreciate a balanced diet. I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars snickers. Chocolate Stores Where to Buy Chocolate, Coverquotes Click N Collect | Click and Collect, You Can Keep Your Heart and Brain Healthy with the Right Chocolate, Scientists Say. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! Chocolate chimp! When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" A: He threw out the Ws. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates..(Why?) Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Donut be jelly. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk?Because he was moo-dy!Which chocolate candy bar is a cats favorite?A Kit Kat!What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?A rocky road!What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?Cao-cao! Knock knock! Does Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Really Hide a Dirty - CBR Are you chocolate milk? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. Baby you satisfy me like only chocolate could. What kind of bar is kid-friendly? Baby I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you. Chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate truffles, Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of the pieces. Your email address will not be published. My final hope for a smokin' hot body! The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. 147 Chocolate Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] She said she didn't have time. Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. 5. A Skor! Your email address will not be published. If you will allow me I would like to consume you everyday because I like the taste of you. We have gathered some of the funniest and amusingly ridiculous chocolate jokes, funny chocolate stories, puns, and one-liners youll ever see. They dont last long for fat people. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. Chocolate Ice Cream [rec.humor.funny] Required fields are marked *. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. . You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. Who doesnt love chocolate? Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Hershey. Plane Chocolate! Monster House. Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. The old man responded, Thats ok. How do you make a pool table laugh? But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Julie Davis, Los Angeles Times, 10/30/85. What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy? Vegetable Jokes. No, the boy replied. A: Because it lost its filling Dad's Dirty Jokes - Bob Saget - YouTube So candy bars are a health food. Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. 60 Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults That You Need To Hear! The other watches your snatch. Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. A Mars bar. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? by Taureano Ent January 12, 2020, 6:39 am 1.6k Views 3 Comments. ao! Knock knock! 2. 67 Funny and Dirty Jokes 2023 (VERY Dirty and Clean Ones) Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. A: To get chocolate milk. Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? Top 49 Chocolate Jokes That Will Leave You Wanting More Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar? I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. The lovable Charlie, who is one of a group of children to win a tour of the mysterious Chocolate Factory of the eccentric candymaker, Willy Wonka . You're welcome. How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Knock, knock.Whos there?Chalk.Chalk who?Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream. C? I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. . Darling you are enough sweet for me. Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate! Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. What do you call stolen cocoa? 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side What do you call a womanising chocolate? Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden my Starburst! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. 3.14159265. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Here, have a carrot! I am Jimmy, clown at heart. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . You and me are the perfect batch. Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. Because he was moo-dy! I hate Bounty Hunters. Are you chocolate spread? What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. Sense of Humor. People can't help being thrown off when slang for testicles are suddenly part of the conversation! Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. 79 Dirty Jokes That Are Funny ASF | Bridal Shower 101 Because he wanted to be a Smartie. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" After about 20 years of marriage, Im finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. Foiled again. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. What do you call female chocolate? The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem". She had Josie 's classic hairdo (complete with a tiny bow), and was a girlfriend of Reggie. Chocolate Jokes Dirty - Dirty Funny Jokes Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? 50 Funny Donut Jokes for When You're in a Jam - Let's Eat Cake Homer Simpson, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate. Homer Simpson, Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of womens pants. Why was the candy bar confused? Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. Knock knock! Bagel Jokes. The little boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105. He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Its nice that if I want something sweet I wont ever have to hold back cause I have you. I know youre a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you. Youre like a sweet because Id like to drizzle you on any food and still not get enough of you. What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. Its important we remember the true meaning of Easter We're also sorry the chocolate is half-eaten. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? Chocolate-covered aunts.What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? Q: Whats the technical difference between cacao and cocoa? Then you could kill as much as you desire. The total text used must be less than one paragraph, and the website must give credit to and link back to this page. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! Copy This. Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. Dear I would pour all the sweetness I have in my body towards you to make you happy. 80+ Best Deez Nuts Jokes To Make Your Dirty Friends Laugh Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. A mootation. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. The man says, "And the Viagra?" A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. A little too much chocolate is just about right. I dont think Id mind if they call you a Devils food, because Id still take the risk for you. Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim? "Mon, where's the magic?" said the cashier. God is watching." 19+ Best Dirty Medical Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns How dairy, who? 1. Dont you think having you and sweet food in my life is redundant? But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! Its nutty, crunchy, and chocolatey delicious. While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and people who love you. Make sure to tell these to true . What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? What's the best part of Valentines Day? If youve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youre eating it too slowly. A Choco-Light! 4. The list wont be complete without the knock knock jokes. Chocolate isnt like premarital sex. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. To return Click Here. She also ate every letter in her name, but left me feeling good: oo! A Bounty-ful! If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Why? Chocoearly. (LogOut/ 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. Copy This. Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Are you chocolate spread? You never know what youre going to get when you open a box of chocolates. 45 Dirty Jokes To Make You Laugh - PsyCat Games Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. You're the milk to my cookie. To get chocolate milk. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. It turns out in-prison mint isnt that bad.What do cannibals eat for dessert? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! 53 Best Valentine's Day Jokes and One Liners 2023 - Country Living Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). Finally he announced crossly Young lady, youve been eating far too many sweet things, several of your teeth need filling., Oh goody! she replied happily. TheLaughFactory. A chocolate shake. I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" Chocolate doesnt make the world go round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile! Half dark and half light chocolate. Theres more to life than chocolate, but not right now. A: Theyre too hard to peel. Jokes, A new British survey has revealed that 9 out of 10 people like Chocolate. How do you know its cold outside? The star of the family friendly "Full House" and "Fuller House" series and host of the even more G-rated "America's . Everyone got a piece. He opened it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Please add a link to this article. Bad knees.. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. What the cold weather does to cold people! At home it is always sweet o clock. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. If you have enjoyed this collection, we sure have more for you. How about I make you happy this time? Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. That way, at least youll get one thing done. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Its like chocolate chip cookies, you cant get enough of them. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. If our research results continue to support a link between consumption of flavanol-rich cocoa and nitric oxide synthesis, there could be significant implications for public health. Q: What job function does a complete moron have in an M&M factory? ao! How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. 456 Dirty One Liners - The funniest dirty jokes - OneLineFun.com We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Snickers he only snickers! If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! Q: How do you know when a complete moron has been making chocolate chip cookies? A Kitty Kat bar. I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. Dark chocolate chimp. What did the M&M go to college? Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate. Chocolate is a serious thing! Chocolate covered aunts. Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet (1888-1935), the damnable agent of necromancers and sorcerers. It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. may say Im a dreamer, Emperor Montezuma said: Ive got a collection of hilarious chocolate jokes and puns that will make you chuckle no matter what time it is! 4. In yet another Laugh Factory gaffe in July 2012, Daniel Tosh found himself the subject of intense public pressure after joking about a gang rape. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers.