188. Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? Is there anybody up there?" 116. What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? What do you call a bear with no teeth? A one-liner is well and fine if you need a quick joke to brighten up the mood. Why did the melon jump into the lake? The ocean. Why shouldnt you write with a broken pencil? A pouch potato. 117. In his sleevies!
Chris James - Black British Accent (Stand Up Comedy) - YouTube This is the first World Cup Final we havent been to together since we got married." Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party? Pup-eroni pizza! We love funny jokes for kids! ""How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person? What did one eye say to the other? Haloumi! ", As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault. What is the center of gravity? Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. I wonder how deep it is., The second hunter says, I dont know, lets throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom., The first hunter says, Theres this old pickup transmission here, give me a hand and well throw it in and see.. A week later, one of these redneck farmers says . He wanted to be a Smartie. 98. The boy shocked us by saying, "That man was not my father. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. Why do hurricanes wear a monocle to see? I couldnt help noticing how happy you look, she said. I was impressed and asked: "Does he know how his so many greats grandfather lived for so long? 224. We agreed and soon the coffee arrived. A waist of time. The bartender says, We dont serve your type.. 60. ", My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. Whats red and bad for your teeth? Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? - You take 'em to the old Volk's home. Climbing out of the wreckage, one redneck said to the other, Do you know where we are?, I think so, replied the other redneck. Why dont Calculus majors throw house parties? ""Until you're 18", says the father.The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly. I excel at sleeping. What dont ants get sick? I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. The other replies: chickens, why?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_19',624,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The first says: If I guess how many chickens you got in that bag there can i have one?, The redneck holding the bag of chickens says: If you guess how many chickens are in this bag Ill give you both of them!, Redneck couple get married. At the North Pole. Manage Settings The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town? 278. Wondering what is was for, he joined it. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs. What do you call a sleeping bull? Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! All it was doing was collecting dust. Ask her anything! Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. Youve just made my day. Swimming trunks. Why cant you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Why is it impossible to starve in the desert? Where did the music teacher leave her keys? It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. Ten tickles 22. 216. Because he had a great fall. Redneck cousin says I dont know, but I sure as HELL dont want any motherf***ing pancakes!. The police officer gets out of his car and approaches the window of the Muslim mans car. People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front. I said that it had to be the most intelligent cat ever. Funny. Hey, bud! So they have a Ball. She gets out and says "I want you two to make mad passionate love to me in the barn. 280. 253. The man first apologized and then whispered to the librarian, "Can I please have some ham and cheese? Launch. The man replied: "You can't do this. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Dam. Why shouldn't you trust atoms? A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. A redneck's father passed away in his sleep. I was once passing through a town in England when this lady stopped me because she needed help fixing her car that had broken down. Nobody knows.
145 Best Dad Jokes of All Time - Corny, Funny Dad Jokes 2023 Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels. Everything I looked at. In the piano! How did the hipster burn his mouth? Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? The doctor listened to his problems and told him that he should really visit a therapist instead of a doctor. 79. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out. Print them off for free! 4 What did Delaware? 76. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. 166. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold. Where are average things manufactured? He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. Lack-Toast Intolerant. Here, I will give you an example, do you own a weed Wacker? Jim said. ", Two young salmon are swimming along one day. I aint never seen nuthinlike that in my entire life, I aint got no idear what it is.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-netboard-1','ezslot_22',625,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-netboard-1-0'); While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? How do you make a pool table laugh? What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? It was tense. 271. 151. What kind of music do planets like? 231. A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. 173. You're the father of twins. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? Because the P is silent! They cantaloupe. In inchesthey dont have feet. The drumstick. A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second? 51. The mummy said, "Please don't play jazz because my trom-bones are in a very bad shape. People who dont like fast food! My cat on my lap says she doesn't understand the joke and she would beat me in chess. 293. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. "Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor. What did the lawyer wear to court? 285. When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, "Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? 72. What kind of chicken is the funniest? Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. He takes off running and reaches the edge into the wind he goes! 289. 55. 209. With a mon-key. 45. They go to the meat-ball. Why did the tomato turn red? What do you call a musician with problems? Shutterstock A carrot! Wrong. ""Didn't know how fast you could walk". Wondering what is was for, he joined it. Right where you left him. It's groundbreaking.
75 Short Jokes to Make Anyone Laugh | Reader's Digest Canada It lost its filling. Dinner's on me. Bubba the redneck decided to save up and get a hang-glider. What is the tallest building in the entire world? What lights up a soccer stadium? Whats orange and sounds like a carrot? ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. Which superhero hits home runs? 139. Did you hear the rumor about the butter? I will never forget some of these, and you better believe my friends are hearing them. 24. When does Friday come before Thursday? Search by topic Joke Topics Engine Jokes Cave Jokes Wednesday Jokes Mosquito Jokes Stew Jokes Snowflake Jokes 239.
After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the Kangaroo. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? 158. What do you call spaghetti in disguise? What do you call a group of disorganized cats? You know, there's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Here, the Dean said, I will give you an example, do you own a weed Wacker?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Between us, something smells. A river. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity! The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, "Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee! He knew a shortcut. A URLologist. He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay? 230. Prime mates. Why couldnt the pony sing? When do you need to climb the ladder? The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away. Billionaire Mindset On Dreads Dreadlocks Crazy Hair. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? We respect your privacy. The baa-baa shop. Its your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about its been collecting dirt on you for years. ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. The doctor saw him and asked him what the matter was. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? The next morning Dad is making breakfast and the first little boy drifts into the kitchen. What is the difference between a teacher and a train? Where do pirates get their hooks? She gets out and says I want you two to make mad passionate love to me in the barn. Why are ghosts good cheerleaders? ""My God!" Mussels! A cat-tastrophe. It's too far to walk. 81. A buccaneer. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. A tomato in an elevator. Ooops! A terminal illness. BANGBANG..BANG..BANG! ""Yes," sighs the husband. He picks it up and starts crying, thinking hes a horrible person. It is two tired. The two boys had never heard that word before and asked about it. (2022), Mason Jar May Day Basket | FREE Printable Tags, 500+ Hilarious Jokes for Kids {Kid Approved} . What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? 115. 2. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. An iwitness. 175. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? Because pepper water makes them sneeze. What does corn say when you give it a compliment? What kind of exercise do lazy people do? I hope they will think they are seriously funny jokes! 172. He pulled him over again. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Did you hear about the man who got hit by the same bike every morning? The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
30 Funny Computer Jokes That Will Make IT Professionals Smile - methodshop To get to the bottom. It held up a pair of pants. "A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right. You could probably get a good price for your clubs. 90. When its full. Aw shucks! So, the wife and I were in town shopping And as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. 207. What did the clock ask the watch? ", During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?".